For her sake
by fantasyBOX
Summary: Oneshot.Based on Chapter 170 of the manga, where Rouvelier and Komui announces Allen's fate to the exorcists. What are Lenalee's thoughts and feelings at the time? Inspired from then, different interpretation.


I welcome reviews! best friends, ya know? XD

Disclaimer: -man belongs to Katsura Hoshino –Sensei, NOT me. I own MY ideas, nothing else.

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"If," Komui paused, "Allen Walker should awaken as the 14th and be determined a threat to the Order..."

_This can't be happening._

"As supervisor of the Black Order, I will now assign the exorcists a standing order," Komui gulped.

_Say it. For now. _Komui told himself. _This is the only way to keep him alive._

Komui opened his mouth to speak, but closed it just after.

_I can't, _Komui thought, fist clenched. _I can't do it._

"If that should happen, please kill me."

Allen had said it. All heads were now facing the direction where the white-haired boy stood, their faces expressing shock and confusion.

"But that won't happen," Allen continued, his voice unwavering, "if the 14th should attack the Order, I will stop him. He will not attack Home."

Allen had been told the truth; he was the host necessary for the fourteenth revival. His master had told him that the fourteenth would erode his personality away and awaken as a Noah with no remembrance of being an exorcist. And so here he was, telling his comrades to kill him.

Allen looked around at the faces of his friends, stopping at the one face that would be the most affected.

Lenalee.

*************************************

"Did he just...ask us to kill him?" Lenalee choked out the last few words.

She was looking at Allen with uncertainty written all over her face. Her friends, the Order, were the little jigsaw pieces that would form her world. But, she knew in her heart, that Allen had taken up a bigger space in her world and he meant so much to her.

"What do you mean, we have to kill you?" Lenalee could no longer hold back the tears that formed in her eyes. "What do you mean?"

It was Inspector Rouvelier who responded.

"When Allen awakes as the 14th Noah-"

"What do you mean when?!" Lenalee cried out.

"Please refrain from shouting at the Inspector, Miss Lenalee Lee," Link spoke.

"It is a matter of time, dear Lenalee," the Inspector stated, regaining his composure due to the interruption. "When the Noah in the boy awakens, we have no idea what it can and will do. Therefore, the best way is to end it before any other blood is spilled."

"What do you mean by other blood? Allen is our comrade! He's a fellow exorcist like us. He's a friend!" Lenalee shouted out, her sadness fuelling her anger.

"Please _refrain_ from shouting at the Inspector, Lenalee Lee," Link repeated himself.

"Whether you like it or not, you are an exorcist. Your duty is to stop the Earl and the AKUMAs," Rouvelier answered calmly. "When another Noah awakens, the Earl would gain an advantage while we lose our exorcists due to your inabilty to control your feelings."

"Allen is our-" Lenalee stopped abruptly after a look from Allen.

"Lenalee..." Allen whispered, pleading for her to stop. "Please..."

The exorcists who had gathered there all stood in silence watching Lenalee argue with the Inspector. Truth be told, they had no idea how to react to such news. To them, with one exception, Allen was the youngest exorcist and the boy who amazed people with his incredulous appetitie. Anyone could barely suppress a grin after watching the beansprout devour a mountain of food. No matter how you looked at it, Allen seemed the type impossible to kill his own comrades. Yes, he was a fierce fighter in battles but all was for the sake of _protecting_ his friends. However much Allen meant to them, the reason for what they fought for was different. Lenalee fought for her friends, to preserve her world. And yet now, she would be expected to be constantly on the guard for traces of the fourteenth awakening.

Lenalee sank to the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks while Lavi and Komui came to comfort her. Rouvelier had left and so did a few of the exorcists, generals namely. Kanda remained behind for reasons unknown. Miranda and Arystar remained too, seeing as how Allen was the one that brought them to this place. Both had built a bond with the young man and certainly, the news surprised them too but not as badly as Lenalee.

"Brother...I can't do it..."Lenalee sobbed, her face buried in her hands. "I can't..."

"I know, Lenalee..." Komui told her. "I know."

Lavi sat down beside Lenalee, patting her back trying to console her. Looking up at Kanda, he caught him saying something like, _stupid moyashi... Always causing problems. Che. _

_I guess it affected Yuu too_, Lavi thought. _Guess Yuu cares for Allen after all._

Glancing around, Lavi caught sight of Allen. He was still standing at the spot he stood and was looking at the ground, seemingly deep in thought. Then, Allen refocused his sight on Lenalee, his eyes dull and listless.

"We should go, Lavi. It seems that Allen Walker needs to talk to Miss Lenalee. And so does she."

At Bookman's words, Lavi stood up. Understanding the current situation, the remaining exorcists left, along with Komui, leaving the two to talk.

Neither spoke, but the atmosphere felt heavy. Allen still stood where he was and Lenalee still did not want to look at Allen.

"Lenalee..." Allen started but Lenalee cut him off.

"Why did you stop me?" Lenalee demanded, her tone menacing. "Why did you want us to kill you? Don't you know me enough to know how much that would affect me?"

Allen did not reply. Lenalee therefore stood up and went over to him.

"Don't you know how much that affects me?" Lenalee repeated herself. "You are our friend, Allen... my friend... my comrade! How... do you expect me to... kill you?"

"You are one in it! You make up my world!" Lenalee cried out, the tears returning to her eyes once more. "Tell me... answer me... please..."

"Lenalee..." Allen finally answered, settling himself in the dust beside Lenalee. "The reason why I want you to kill me is because I don't want to hurt any of you. I will stop the fourteenth and I will not let any of you get hurt. If- "

There was a stinging sensation in Allen's left cheek. Lenalee was looking down at the earth, her right hand trembling.

"Didn't I say it before?" Her voice was shaking. "You have friends. Comrades. You have me! We fight together! Why do you always think of fighting alone? We are all together in this!"

Allen stayed silent as he covered his cheek with his hand. "I'm sorry, Lenalee... But I'm afraid... I'm scared... and... this battle is one that I'll have to fight alone."

This time, Lenalee did not respond. Her gaze was focused at him, unable to comprehend what he just said.

"Lenalee?" Allen asked. "Lenalee? Talk-"

Lenalee had hugged him.

"Lenalee?"

"Please Allen... Let me stay like this... for awhile..."

Unsure of how to react, Allen placed his hands on the floor to support himself from falling to the ground.

"You know, Allen. You may be the youngest one here, but during times like this, I feel like the younger one instead."

"What do you mean, Lenalee?"

"You seem so... far. You seem to shoulder all the responsibilities, the war's burden yourself. You always want to protect everyone, and always feel bad when you fail."

"Aren't you the same, Lenalee? You fight to protect us, your world."

Lenalee shook her head. "I don't think they are the same. I protect the world I believe in. You protect the world _everyone_ lives in. And you have this crazy mentality to save everyone, including the AKUMAs," she paused momentarily,"just like that time in the rewinding town."

"You slapped me that time too, didn't you? But I deserved that slap, I was too reckless."

Lenalee lifted herself off him and took his left hand into her own.

"What about now?" Lenalee asked him.

Allen looked into her deep violet eyes, unsure of how to respond to her question.

"That slap was because you told me and insisted on fighting alone. After knowing me for so long, how could you not know how I feel?"

"But the 14th lives in me, how will you fight against something you can't see?"

"Fighting alone does not mean it has to be a physical battle. We are your emotional support, Allen. When the time comes and you are struggling, remember us, we are always with you. We always are."

Lenalee looked up to see Allen looking at her with gratitude as told in his enchanting silver eyes. Then, before either knew what was happening, their faces drew closer and their lips met. Lenalee placed her arms around his neck, leaning on him.

"Lenalee," Allen broke away from the embrace, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Lenalee inquired.

"We can't do this. Not when there's a war going on."

Lenalee looked away, and when she turned back her gaze to the teen in front of her, she was smiling.

"I understand, Allen," Lenalee told him. "Promise me, we'll talk about this when the war is over."

"I promise," Allen nodded after a brief hesitation, "We will win and the fourteenth will no longer be a problem."

Lenalee did not notice the pause- either that or she paid no heed to it. What Allen just promised, what she just heard had made Lenalee feel as if a stone had been lifted off her.

"Let's get back inside, Allen," Lenalee suggested. "Brother must be worried since he left me when I was... depressed."

"Alright," Allen agreed. "I'm feeling hungry anyway."

Chuckling, Lenalee stood up and made her way back into the new headquarters, together with Allen.

*********************************

Lenalee had been repeating the same words over and over again that night when she readied herself for bed.

"We will get through this," Lenalee told her reflection in the mirror. "Allen had promised. He won't die."

"I believe in him. I trust him," she told herself firmly. "He never lies to me."

*********************

At the same time in another room, Allen had also been replaying the day's events in his head.

Touching his lips, he told himself, "I can't love her. For her sake, I can't. I love everyone equally-"

His expression suddenly changed into one of disgust, "with one exception."

Lying on his bed, Allen continued telling himself. "I treat almost everyone the same way."

Turning his head to face Timcanpy, he asked, "If I love everyone equally, will they... will they all be safe, Master?"

"Will the Fourteenth still be able to harm the person I love if all is equal?"

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Ta-Dah! oneshot in DGM universe complete.

Thank you for reading to the end! =D

Have a nice day! =D


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